Do the Monkey
by Shenrezade
Summary: Kim and Ron enter the scene. And I also have an unexpected guest...
1. Default Chapter

Greetings, all!  I, the intrepid Shenrezade have expanded my styles into yet another area of the realm of Fanfiction.net.  What follows is a story of epic adventure, romance, thrills, chills, and other giant adverbs!

*A little purple imp flies up to Shen* Yeah, you might wanna rethink that last statement there.

… What did you do Gobano?

Gobano: I flushed your data disc down the toilet.  The codebook for being evil dictates I find new and experimental ways to drive you to the brink of chaos. MWAHAHAHAHHHHH!!!!

You are the worst muse EVER!!!

Gobano: Stop, you're making me all flustered.

Well, thanks to my sadistic muse, that last story was lost to the foul depths of the sewers.  So in the sprit of moving things along to wherever the heck they're going I present to you this Kim Possible Story I made up about five seconds ago.

Gobano: Isn't that a Disney cartoon?

Yes Gobano, it is.

Gobano: Disney….  How I **_LOATHE_** THEM!!!  When plunge this world into the abyssal depths of chaos THEY WILL BE THE FIRST TO BE BLASTED TO A FIRERY DOOMY **_DOOM_!!!!**

Whatever.  Enjoy.

**Kim Possible: Do the Monkey**

Chapter 1: It began with a pipe... or was it a flute?

          In the area of San Francisco, at the Institute for Archeology and ancient ruins, a black clad form silently crept along the roof of the building and down the side, coming to rest at the third story window.  Pulling out a small metal object from beneath his robes, he carefully cut the glass along the bottom of the window, reaching in to keep it from falling and setting off the sound alarms.  Reaching in and unlatching the barrier that hindered him, the silent figure slowly pulled the glass up, allowing him entry into the museum.  

          Padding along silently as was possible, the intruder infiltrated the institute in search of a particular item, passing by things that would be much more expensive in the black market.  What he sought was an ancient artifact in particular that he learned would be here for this week before it went on tour to museums around the world.  After realizing it was actually here, he determined he had to get it tonight, while the security was lax.

          It was just as he had slipped through the main display room of the third floor and through two hallways that he found the office where it was kept.  Pulling out a lock pick from his belt, he swiftly jiggled it in the door before he was rewarded with a soft _click.  Smiling underneath his mask, the black-clad form opened the office door and entered, closing it behind him._

          There it was.  Sitting on the desk like a paperweight on small pedestal, was the mystical monkey flute.  It was, in a word, beautiful.  Carved out of an ancient bamboo tree, and dipped in a ceremonial stream with magical properties, the flute had seven holes and a wide opening at the end, with a slender mouthpiece.  While it was called a flute, it more closely resembled a miniature clarinet.  Ah well, names really didn't matter with something like this.  Only the power the instrument wielded did.  Shaking off the initial awe he felt at beholding such a sacred relic, the figure advanced slowly in reverence, his hands trembling in anticipation ever so slightly as he was about to grasp the flute.

          Just then the wall beside him exploded with a resounding _BOOM!!!  The thief was thrown back into the wall, stars blinking in his skull.  Looking up, he beheld two figures entering into the office building, the alarms suddenly blaring to life.  Curses!  All his hard work and then ****__this had to happen!!  Shaking his head to clear the cobwebs, he looked to see who the two newcomers were.  One was a rather tall man in a blue suit with a lighter shade of blue skin, with a scar across one cheek and his oily black hair tied back in a pony tail.  The other was a female with pale olive skin and jet black flowing hair, with a green and black jumpsuit on._

          "Alarms!?" the blue one exclaimed in a rather obnoxious voice.  "Why didn't you tell me there were alarms here Shego!?  I expect to be better informed than this, missy!"

          The female, Shego, crossed her arms and glared at the Blue man.  "Well **_gee_, Dr. Drakken.  I assumed that maybe you **knew **that there'd be an alarm system in a museum." She replied in a sarcastic manner.  "You know, there being ****_valuable stuff_ in them, and all.**

          The blue-skinned man, Drakken, placed his fists on his hips.  "Regardless, this is your fault Shego.  Now we have guards on the way!"

          The female bristled dangerously.  "**_MY _**fault!?" she exclaimed outrageously.  "**_You're_ the one who blasted through the wall!  If we had done it the way I wanted-"**

          Drakken gave an exasperated snort, cutting her off.  "Oh please.  Your method takes minutes to accomplish.  We'd be here forever waiting for you to get in and get this flute."

          The ninja's ears perked up a bit at that.  They were after the flute too?  

          "Maybe my way takes longer, but at least then we wouldn't have to worry about any **_ALARMS_**, now would we!?" Shego retorted.

          "Oh whatever," Drakken said.  "Just get the flute and let's go."  Shego stalked over to the desk and made ready to snatch the instrument as Drakken sat tapping his foot impatiently.  The figure decided he had had quite enough of this.  Leaping up, he flew directly in between the girl and the flute.

          "I think that you should reconsider your current course of action, my dear," he said in a regal, but nonetheless dangerous tone.

          Shego took a small step backward and gave the ninja a puzzled look.  Clearly she wasn't expecting this.  Drakken, who had also taken notice of the newcomer, looked rather displeased.  "And just who are you?" He demanded.  

          The ninja shifted his gaze to the clearly mad scientist.  "So good of you to ask." He replied.  Pulling off his mask, he revealed a slightly tanned face with slightly ruffed black hair and black bags under his eyes, which gave him a rather nasty look. "Lord Monty Fiske, at your service.  You, however, may call me "Monkey Fist."  He said, finishing with a flourish.

          Shego and Drakken just stared at him with befuddled looks.  Drakken looked at Shego, who merely shrugged in response.  "Well, Monkey Fist," Drakken said, stepping forward slightly.  "We've come for that whistle."

          "Flute," Monkey Fist corrected.

          "Actually, it looks more like a clarinet…" Shego interjected.

          "Whatever!!" Drakken bellowed.  "I want that whatever it is, and you'd better stay out of my way, or else!!" 

          "Or else what?" Monkey Fist asked, clearly unruffled by Drakken's threat.

          Lowering his eyes, Drakken pointed toward the ninja.  "Shego!" he yelled.

          "I'm on it, Dr. D." The female replied, her hands lighting up with an eerie green glow."

          Laughing slightly, he then snapped his fingers and cried "Monkey Ninjas **_ATTACK_**!!!!" 

          The other two stared blankly for a moment, and then began laughing hysterically.  "AHAHAHAH!!!" Drakken guffawed.  "Monkey ninjas!  That's a good one!"  His laughter was cut short when a group of small forms clad in ninja garb flew at him from all sides.  "AHHHH!!!!" the doctor yelled.  "Shego, get them off me!!  They smell like sweaty gym socks!!  ARRRGGHH!!!"  

          Shego quickly threw herself at the Doctor, batting away the yammering monkeys.  "This job gets weirder every day," she commented to herself.  As she continued to swat away the ninjitsu simians, Monkey Fist took the opportunity to swipe the monkey flute from the desk. Having retrieved his prize, the ninja lord quickly called off his assault.  

          "Monkey Ninjas, to me!!" he called.  The apes quickly flipped to their master, having served their purpose.  "So sorry you couldn't get what you came for, but this is really mine by right." He mocked, tapping one end of the flute lightly in his palm.  "Farewell for now.  Better luck next time!"  And with that he threw down a smoke pellet which clouded the entire room, allowing he and his monkey minions a quick escape.

          Drakken and Shego were left in a slight coughing fit.  Drakken was none too happy with the outcome of things.  "He got away with my flute!!" the mad doctor exclaimed, still coughing.  "And he used a smokescreen exit!  I **_hate _that ninja cliché!!  It's so… B-movie material!!"**

* * * *

Gobano, are you aware that when you flushed my disk down the toilet, you'd clog it?

Gobano: Yeh-**_esss_****_!_**

And did you know that it would back up and flood my bathroom?

Gobano: Yeh-**_ess_****_!_**

And that it would, in turn, flood the entire apartment/account/whatever, thus making everything smell like raw **_sewage?!_**

Gobano: Yeh-**_ess_****_!_**

I hate you with an unbridled passion reserved for politicians and Disc Jockeys.  I hope you know that.

Gobano: Just a little something to keep you occupied while I enact my grand scheme of subjugating the earth peoples under my **_NEW REGIME _of**_ UTTER AND ABSOLUTE DARKNESS!!!  MWAHAHAHAHHHHH!!!!_****

Psychotic imp.  Anyway, while I'm busy cleaning this mess up, feel free to leave a review or two.  GOBANO!!  COME BACK HERE WITH THE RUBBER GLOVES!!  I NEED THOSE!!!

****


	2. When playing the flute

*is sitting in front of the computer*Oh for the love of….  Come on, They'd never do that!!  Ewww….  That is sick and wrong!!!

Gobano: What's horrifies so, Shen-thing?

I'm reading some of the other Kim Possible fanfictions.  There's some weird stuff in here.  One girl has some stuff going on between a human Rufus and Ron, for crying out loud!!

Gobano: Fascinating. *taps foot*

…. There's a really creepy guy in a trench coat standing behind me, isn't there?

Gobano: I've been waiting for five minutes for him to chop your head off and cut it into neat little squares!  *shakes fist* DO SOMETHING, DAGGONIT!!!

*swivels around* Chaos.

Chaos: Shenrezade.

Still killing people for fun and profit?

Chaos: Still writing crappy stories in between being a horrible merc?

… I never liked you, did I?

Chaos: No.

I thought not.  What do you want?

Chaos: *shrugs* Dunno.  You said I was gonna be here.

Do what?  I never said that.  Why would I?  You scare the bajebus outta me.

Chaos: First chapter summary.  "Chaos to follow shortly after."  Now what do you want?

But… That… *notices audience* Tell you what, zombie man.  How about I explain that to you while they read the new chapter.

Chaos: Whatever.

* * * *

**Kim Possible: Do the Monkey**

Chapter 2: When playing the Flute, don't forget the music sheet

          Somewhere in the far off reaches of suburbian America, lies the town of Middleton.  Not particularly outstanding in the architectural sense, it had the same humanities other small towns might have.  Restaurants, some bowling alleys, a mall, and other run of the mill areas frequented Middleton.  However, it did have one thing other towns didn't have.  It had Middleton High school.  Or, to be more precise, it had a student in Middleton High school.  

          Junior grade, and an A+ student, as well as being captain of the cheerleading squad, this student's uniqueness comes not from her multi-task lifestyle, but from her extracurricular activities.  For she was no ordinary student; quite the contrary.  She had an active past time which involved saving the world.  It was no big, of course, for teen hero Kim Possible.  Quite frankly, she found school life more challenging.

          And it was this particular day the red-haired heroine found particularly troublesome.  The Sadie Hawkins Dance was at the end of the week, and Kim was stressing majorly over the prospects of finding a date.  She planned on asking her crush, Josh Mankey, to the dance, but like the last time she encountered this dilemma, she was worrying herself into a fit over what his answer would be.

          Currently she was stewing over this problem at her locker, pacing back and forth while arguing with herself.  Leaning on his own locker with arms folded over his chest, stood a boy around Kim's age with sandy yellow hair and chocolate brown eyes.  In the pocket of his green slacks was a little rodent, completely devoid of any hair whatsoever, who was mimicking the boy's action.  These two characters were Ron Stoppable, Kim's best friend, and Rufus, Ron's pet.  Kim had been at this pacing business for the past five minutes, and Ron's eyes were starting to tire from moving so much.

          "You know KP," Ron said, continuing to move his head back and forth as he watched her fuss over her Mankey problem.  "If you keep this up then there's a pretty good chance you'll be too tired to dance on Saturday." He then glanced at the floor.  "Not to mention that the students'll think they've grown shorter by about five feet"

          Kim paused her pacing to give Ron a look.  He grinned openly in response.  Giving an exasperated sigh, she went back to her drills.  Ron just shook his head.

          Finally giving over to her protesting legs, Kim slumped against the locker next to Ron.  "I thought this would be easier the second time around," she said in a slight whine.  "I think I'm actually having a harder time with this than I did the first time around!"  Kim sighed again and slumped a bit more.  Shifting her eyes towards Ron she pleaded "I don't suppose you could ask him for me, Ron?"

          "Sounds interesting, but then who would I take?" Ron joked.

          Kim smiled a bit.  "Given your success at finding a date at the last dance, I don't think you'd have any worries there."  She was rewarded with Ron's sarcastic laugh. She was just about to apologize when a sound came from her jean shorts' pocket.  Reaching into her pocket, she pulled out what looked like a portable video game system. Tapping a button she was greeted with the image of a 10 year old African American boy. "What up, Wade?" she asked him.

          The young boy in the screen smiled.  "You got a new hit on your site, from the San Francisco institute of archeology, no less." He sounded a tad impressed.  Kim did too.  The San Francisco Archeology institute was a major area for her to be getting a hit from, given her "dry spell" the last few weeks.

          Ron leaned over to get a little more involved in the conversation.  "The where and what institute?" he asked, a little baffled.  Major areas of worldly  importance were really lost on him.  

          Kim looked over at him.  "The San Francisco Institute of Archeology and Ancient History, Ron.  It's one of the top areas in research of ancient civilizations."  Ron just stared blankly for a moment, then quickly nodded, seeming to understand.  Turning back to Wade, she asked him what the hit request had to do with.

          "I've got an e-card from the curator.  Let me run it through," he replied.  He tapped a few buttons on the keyboard, then an image of a man with brown hair in his mid 30s.

          "Ah, hello Ms. Possible," He began, wiping his spectacles on his shirt.  "So sorry to bother you, but someone's nicked off with my latest discovery.  Rather embarrassing, that.  I was hoping you could pop over and have a look around, see if you couldn't figure out who took it, eh?"  

          At that the message ended and Wade popped back up.  "I've contacted a friend of yours from the Air Force, he'll be there in about five mintures."

          "Thanks Wade, you rock!" Kim said gratefully, putting away her Kimmunicator.  This would help keep her mind off of Josh for awhile.  Maybe when she got back, she'd have the courage to ask him to the dance.

          Unfortunately, it seemed she wasn't going to have any such luck.  "Uh, KP," Ron said, nudging her slightly.  She turned slightly to see what Ron's attention was on, and felt her legs freezing up.  Josh Mankey was walking down the hall, straight towards her.  Nervously, she darted her head left to right, looking for some place to hide.  Her eyes fell on Ron, who was jerking his head and thumbs in Mankey's direction, urging her to go talk to him.  She bit her lower lip for a second in indecision, then decided it was better to flee the oncoming danger now and deal with it later.  Grabbing Ron, who gave out a startled yelp, she dashed down the opposite end of the hall, as fast as possible away from Josh.  "I guess discretion is the better part of valor, huh Kim?" Ron asked, clearly amused.  All Kim could do was groan.

* * * * 

          Monkey fist beheld his prize for the third time that day.  He couldn't get over it.  He had head about the legends of a sacred instrument belonging to the order of the monkey, with mystical powers buried deep within it.  Of course, since it had been lost for so long, even **_he _**doubted its existence.

          But that had changed the moment he found out an archeologist had actually managed to excavated it from an old site in China.  To think he actually **_doubted _**the writings of the ancient monkey masters.  Well now he had this very item, and with it, he would finally become the ultimate monkey master!!

          Of course, there was one slight hurdle to overcome.  Although he knew that the Sacred monkey flute held an extreme power, Monkey Fist wasn't entirely sure what that power was.  The manuscripts he had found on the instrument were old and degraded.  Monkey Fist decided that the best thing to do would be to test it on a large area, which is how he had ended up in a small area outside of Chicago.  

          "Now, let's see just what this flute can do," the deranged ninja master said maliciously as he brought the mouthpiece to his lips.  Taking a deep breath, he then let loose a massive squeal that lasted for a full minute.  It quickly became clear that some people in the area heard him, as they quickly began to yell at him.

          "Knock it off, Maguilla!!" "I've heard dying cats that sound better than you do!" "Mommy, someone's running over a dog!"

          Monkey fist quickly pulled the flute away from his mouth.  "What is the meaning of this!?" He exclaimed.  "This is supposed to grant me mystical monkey power!"  Gritting his teeth in frustration, he made to throw the useless flute away, when he suddenly had a thought.  This was an instrument, and an instrument needed something to guide it along properly, didn't it?  It had to have a music sheet!!  "Of course," He berated himself.  "I must have music to play a musical instrument with.  "All I need to do is find whatever music is to be played with this flute, and then the world will be mine!!"

          Monkey Fist was brought out of his by someone tapping him on the back of his leg.  He turned around to see a rather portly man in a janitor's outfit staring at him.  "'Ey pal, ef yer dun ere I've got ta clean dees ere food counters."  

* * * *

*is sitting and talking with Chaos* And that's what I meant when I said "Chaos to follow shortly."  Get it?

Chaos: …

Uh Chaos?

Chaos: You know, I broke off burning down an orphanage and putting the resident's heads on pikes because I thought you were going to pay me to kill someone.

…. You're a rather disturbing fellow, you know.

Chaos: You'd better think of something for me to do in the next five seconds or I'll make it so that you have a new outlook on life.  Mainly a dead one.

Gobano: KILL HIM NOW!! KILL HIM NOW!!!

Shut UP, you deranged plushie from the underworld!  Okay, fine.  We'll do something with you next time, all right?  You'll even get to kill something, okay?

Chaos: All right.  But make sure you don't forget.  Or else *leaves*

I won't all right?  Yeesh.  This place gets more hazardous by the day.


End file.
